Friday, January 22, 2010

conscious discipline pt.1

a friend asked me if i'd like to go with her to a free parenting series at her son's preschool. its on friday mornings for about 2 hours for a total of 4 weeks. the class is called Conscious Discipline-a program developed by Dr. Becky Bailey. the basic premis is this: Conscious Discipline educates adults by establishing an understanding of brain development. Once a basic knowledge is established, Conscious Discipline then draws out the relationships between brain development, learning and behavior. Ultimately, Conscious Discipline uses this information to deliver specific ways to create safer, more caring and more responsive environments for schools, homes and workplaces.

today was the first session. there is a video we watch and have some handouts to keep notes with. the first video dealt with understanding the human brain, and the relationship between brain function and behavior. she talks about reactions start at the brain stem (survival state--defense, attack), then go to the limbic system (emotional state-name calling, childhood upbrinings), and ultimately reaches the frontal lobe of the cortex (executive state-reasoning skills). she talks alot about how thebrain functions optimally when the child feels safe, and not to discipline on a fear-based system. it was all very intresting. took me back to some of my psychology classes i had in college (hm...13 years later and finally my psychology degree has relevence!)

the second video talked about composure. "no one can make me angry without my permission". she gave strategies how to maintain our composure and keep a safe environment. those strategies are: 1) use language of safety vs. language of fear " come hold my hand so that i can keep you safe" vs. "get over here before somebody grabs you" 2) change "dont make me" language to "i'm going to" statements ex- "I'm going to pull the car over until the seatbelts are fastened and everyone is safe" vs "dont make me have to pull this car over" 3) active calming- breathe. she uses S.T.A.R (Stop. Take a deep breath. And Relax)..when your child is throwing a fit say to yourself "i'm safe, keep breathing, i can handle this" and say to your child "you're safe. breathe with me, you can handle this". She also suggests setting up a Safe Place..this would be an area that the child can go to whenever they are upset, angry, frustrated..its NOT a time-out. its strictly volunteer. and in this safe place they can relax. you would put item/activities there that would be calming.

i am still processing most of this info. i think the overall idea is great. right now caitlin is a little too small for some of it, but i think in the future it would come in handly. i am looking forward to learning more in the upcoming sessions. if you'd like to learn more, visit the website here

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